Sad Sia

"Sad sia."

Yes, I'm using Singlish for my blog post title.

Some feelings, can only be expressed by using true-blue Singlish. :P

Today, 26 May 2014, has been an emotional day for me.

1) Someone I know, who I care for and treated as part of the team, committed a crime and got turned over to the police. It's really sad cos he was crying and it was not worth it as it was such a petty crime.

Do not commit a crime which is ultimately not gonna be worth it... 

Really...

2) A staff told someone else I'm not being fair. Which is really sad cos I really try my best to be, and people often see one side of the story/ become selfish and turn their tables on you when they do not get what they want.

In this case, this staff wanted the weekend off because she booked a hotel stay-cation with her boyfriend (last-minute, mind you). Following the SOP, I cannot change the whole roster for her. Doing that would affect the rest of my team, which is like, 20 other people. She should in fact find someone else who can cover her shift herself and inform me or other in-charges accordingly.

Anyway, this led her to tell others that I am unkind to her; that I favour others; that I only push work to her; etc. You get the gist.

In my defense, I try to equalize work and the people who she said I favour are in fact the ones I stress out the most, because I believe they can get the job done. 

I am not able to explain myself on my blog and I doubt anyone can understand my predicament, but that's ok, ahahahah.

Moreover I can see her Facebook posts ranting about, well, me. (HAHAHA)

Oh, sweet Facebook.

What the hell.

Seriously, fine. 

Being a manager is so damn tough and I can't always be a good guy. It hurts when people judge me. My job looks all publicity and happy times and big smiles, but no it's not just that. 

It's harder than it seems, but I love it cos of its challenges and the joy it (still) brings me (for now).

Whatever. I know very well what I'm doing is in accordance to the organization's needs and I definitely can't be a 'friend' to everyone all the time if I'm a 'boss'.

I mean, HEY, I GOTTA GET THE JOB DONE OK. 

If there's one lesson I learnt in year 2014, it's that

"I CANNOT PLEASE EVERYONE."

I totally get it now.

And I'm kinda growing in some ways, which allows me to see the bigger picture... I'm no longer that upset or hurt by others' perspectives and viewpoints. In fact, perhaps those are positive/ constructive feedback.

Zen....

Yes please...

So true.

Lastly,

upon wishing a good friend Happy Birthday today, I found out that a couple I knew (through that friend) has abruptly broke up.

The couple was engaged, bought a BTO (built to order flat, which is a hot thing to do in Singapore for young couples), and actively posted about their love on Facebook garnering many likes.

It turned out that the male had committed cheating and sex was involved. He was removed from our Whats-app group chat, and out of our lives, and her lives.

How can something which seemed so stable be destroyed so abruptly?

Isn't love volatile, and how scary is that?

Kinda sad, cos I first-hand experienced how sweet they were together.

What an emotional roller coaster it is for me today, and I hope everyone is feeling ok. The heartbroken, the ones who regretted whatever they have done, the ones hurt by what others say...

The world is a judgmental place, but who are we to judge? I hope I learn to focus on what I admire in life, instead of on what disgusts me in life.

XX, Chloe Huo *peace*