expectations.

sometimes i feel that when we imagine the future of something that will never be,
and imagine what it would be like, how wonderful it will be,
we are only prepping ourselves up for disappointment.
i mean, life is, more often than not, not a bed of roses.
we won't always be looking through rose tinted lenses.
and when we imagine something, we tend to be more optimistic, no?
ah, now i sound like quite the pessimist.

so, when we make a choice to do something,
maybe it would be better to not think about the possibility of an alternative path?
while im quite the dreamer,
i find that sometimes dreaming about that alternative path hurts.
what's the point of dreaming about somthing that will never happen?
because some things just ain't meant to be,
and i gotta accept it,
not keep dreaming of
something that was never there, is not there, and will never be there.

wake up,
stop dreaming so much,
get your head out of the clouds.
it's dawn.
it's time for life again,
time for the truth to sink in.

i miss my dad.
can't stop thinking about him.
sigh, not coping well.
but i can't keep thinking about how life would be if he had been ok, if he's still here, right?