...: choices choices again.

I SUSPECT
i have already reached the age where i have to make alot of choices on my own.
all of a sudden i have lotsa mail on insurance, bills, bank stuff, blah blah etc to read
and lotsa new worries( esp on money) and lotsa choices to make.
arrgghh this shows i'm trampling into adulthood doesn't it?
arrgghh i dun wanna be an adult yet!!
arrgghhh i'm not a girl but also not yet a woman!!!
AARRGGHHH~!!!! i dun wanna be 21 =(
sigh.. here's the latest worry of mine:

look at the super expensive hall rates. (ok maybe not to u but it is to me sians)
i wanna stay and have a wonderful hall life just like my sis, but she had a scholarship, and..
i'm too STUPID to get a scholarship, my results not good enough!
A-R-G-H.
plus nobody is sponsering my university education and i either have to take a loan from the bank or from my mum's CPF account.
wherever it's from, it's a loan, and i'm gonna be in DEBT once august 2008 comes.
whatever it is, i'm a super broke girl (and sorrowful too).
oh, WOE BEFALL ME!
should i allow myself to sink further into debt by taking a bigger loan to stay in the hostel,
or restrict myself from this great step into freedom (aka staying alone) and force myself to wake up in the wee hours to take a 1.5hr long ride from bedok my residential area to NUS( and risk my already enormous eyebags morphing into alien-lifeform-like humongous eyebags?)

i wish i wish the wind would blow,
blow hard,
and blow me a winning 4d ticket!! =D
dearest wind, i want top 3 prizes ok!
lugi best is 1st price of cos. =D
and if it really happens, i won't return the original owner the ticket.
at most give him/her 5% only.
MUAHAHAHAHX =P
cos i am living in a material world and i am a material girl!

2nd consideration:
should i go for the SCAMP?
it's from 23rd to 27th june..
i noe can make more friends, know more people in the fac (cos i am damn sorang there, only got valerie from s305 to pei me ), have fun, and run around so can lose weight too..
but.. if i dun go, i can go for the whole period of mjc invigilating and earn more cash!
pay is $7.50/hr, not bad right.. hmmm~

lol my biggest sis just told me she'd rather help me pay for my uni education( from her words, if she could, she would) than get a chanel bag..
yepp that's my shoppaholic sis.. =P ( my 2nd sis is slightly more thrifty wahaha)
too bad she has a baby to pay for and save for so even if she would and could i wouldn't!
thanks anyways da jie that's so sweet of u :D

MARCHE~!!! with some of the jc gals :D